Who do you even think you are?

It’s a question that has crossed my mind countless times. Sometimes it's a deep, reflective inquiry, while other times it’s that sarcastic, are-you-serious vibe. Over the past several years, I’ve experienced more roles and identities than I can count. Some roles I clung to with all my might. Others I willingly let go. A few came as a total surprise. So, who am I today?

Embracing My Roles

Above all else, I am a wife and a mother. Without my husband and children, my life would be unrecognizable, and my sense of purpose would feel incomplete. My husband spent eight years in active-duty special operations, which often meant being apart from him for long stretches of time. We spent significant periods on the East Coast, raising our first two children, while I managed the household solo. It was undeniably tough, but those years taught me invaluable lessons about being resilient and independent.

I found immense support in a community of women who were also navigating military life. These fellow moms exhibited the same resilience, humor, and grit that I desired to embody. Their friendship helped me feel less isolated, proving that even on the hardest days, I wasn't alone in this motherhood journey.

A New Chapter

In December 2024, we returned to Texas—the home we both cherish. Just one day after landing, we learned we were expecting our third child: our first daughter. Life suddenly transformed. We now embrace homeschooling, family gatherings every weekend, and a lifestyle where we see each other daily. I’m learning what it means to lay down roots again.

This major transition has not come without its challenges. It’s a reminder that life unfolds in chapters, each with unique lessons. The shift from a transient military lifestyle to a more rooted routine has been a time to reflect on my identity—the person I am today and who I aim to be moving forward.

A warm family space filled with love and laughter

The Eldest Daughter

If you asked me to describe myself, I would say I fit the mold of the eldest daughter—responsible, determined, and perhaps a little bossy (in the best sense). I am also a licensed psychologist focused on motherhood. My goal is straightforward: to empower moms to trust themselves, advocate for their families, and believe in that “mom gut” feeling, which I think is as reliable as scientific advice.

Being the eldest daughter guides how I approach my life and relationships. I naturally slip into caregiver roles, not just within my family but also for friends and colleagues. While this nurturing instinct is a strength, it also presents challenges—balancing my care for others with the need to take care of myself.

The Ever-Changing Identity

The reality is that our identities are always evolving. Motherhood has a unique way of expanding and reshaping who we are. Some identities remain steadfast, while others fade or transform. It is in those in-between moments that our true stories emerge.

As I reflect on my experiences, I recognize that each identity I’ve embraced has profoundly impacted my current self. The lessons learned, challenges overcome, and joys celebrated all intertwine to create a rich mosaic of who I am today.

So, here’s my question for you: Who are you right now? Take a moment to consider your own identities and how they’ve shaped your journey. Embrace your changes, celebrate your consistencies, and remember that asking yourself, “Who do you even think you are?” is an essential part of navigating your own path in life.